Family & Relationships Tips to Avoid Helicopter Parenting

02:05  13 july  2018
02:05  13 july  2018 Source:   usnews.com

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Wellness For Parents . Tips to Avoid Helicopter Parenting . Avoid hovering, criticizing and nagging, as this will not help your child tackle new challenges, which involves trying, failing and trying again as many times as necessary to master new skills.

170912_motherdaughter: While kids needs feedback, it's also important to give them space to come into their own, as they grow and develop into the person they're going to be.© (Tetra Images/Getty Images) While kids needs feedback, it's also important to give them space to come into their own, as they grow and develop into the person they're going to be.

Rules, routines and set expectations increase a child’s sense of safety and provide stability and consistency that support a child's growth and learning. But there is more to parenting than creating this kind of secure environment. To raise a responsible and respectful child who matures into an effective and capable adult, you need to help your child learn how to handle increased responsibilities and freedom.

You accomplish this goal by slowly increasing the amount of freedom you give your child while simultaneously teaching him how to manage and handle the additional freedom. Your goal is to be the coach. Avoid hovering, criticizing and nagging, as this will not help your child tackle new challenges, which involves trying, failing and trying again as many times as necessary to master new skills.

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Are you scared that you're becoming a helicopter parent ? Here are 5 tips on how to avoid earning this title! Over the years, different styles of parenting have developed, perhaps in an effort to give parents some kind of direction and guidance.

Helicopter parenting , or over- parenting , is a recurring theme in recent books and articles. From the book “ How to Raise an Adult,” by former Stanford Dean of Freshmen Julie Lythcott-Haims, to the recent article Tips from a college president for a healthy relationship with your college student

One thing to keep in mind as you prepare your child to handle greater freedom is your shared experience when your child was a toddler. Do you remember what you did during this stage? Practice those same behaviors that helped your child stand, walk, and then run on her own. In case you forget what you did, you probably supported the attempts, encouraging the practice no matter how many times your child stood and fell, then stood back up again and fell again. Finally your child succeeded in standing on her own. Then she took her first step and fell.

Throughout this process you were close at hand, encouraging, smiling and perhaps congratulating. Did you criticize her attempts and failures? I bet no. Did you nag her to get up again and try even though she indicated she was tired and wanted to take a break? I sincerely doubt that you did. Did you stand or sit right next to her and catch her, not allowing her to fall? That’s called hovering, and it does not help your child learn to successfully and responsibly manage increased freedom.

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Here are four tips for parents to avoid helicoptering on the pool deck: ONE. Equipment. You can read more parenting tips on her blog.

The most important counter action to helicopter parenting is consciousness-raising on the part of the parent to see the patterns that get established. (A “yes” answer to any of these indicates hovering.) Tips to avoid helicopter parenting .

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Similarly, as a child grows, you'll want to allow him more freedom, starting in the areas where he's requesting it. Perhaps he is simply asking to go to a friend’s house without you taking him – say, riding the bus there from school. First you need to determine if this request is legal (my children wanted to drive a car before they were old enough, by law, to do that, so the answer was no) and if this is something you believe you can help your child successfully learn to do. Now seize this opportunity to comply with the request.

Coaching for success does not mean you immediately turn over total freedom and let your child do what she’s asked for or wants to do on her own. Work with her, support and encourage her, and most importantly ask her to self-evaluate. How does she think she's doing? Does she see any ways she needs to make adjustments or corrections? Does she want your input? If she does want your opinion, mention an adjustment or change that you think could help her that she didn’t mention.

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Parents who do all the work for their children may snatch away a child's ability to develop life skills. Ways to avoid helicopter parenting . Here are some simple tips to avoid the tendency to be a helicopter parent

Helicopter parenting can be very stressful for any parent and it’s important to find ways to deal with it as soon as possible. The tips above might help but they may require some level of commitment and patience.

As you both begin to see her improvement and growth, your job is to back further and further away. Eventually she will be handling the new freedom responsibly and independently. After all, you’re not still holding your child’s hand today as if she is just learning to walk, are you? She made it! She did it! Now move on to other areas for increasing freedom and independence.

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