Smart Living How Achievable Are The 6 Most Common New Year's Resolutions, Really?

22:30  29 december  2017
22:30  29 december  2017 Source:   HuffPost

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New year , new you? Possibly, therapists say. By Brittany Wong. Malorny via Getty Images. In the spirit of setting achievable goals, we asked therapists to weigh in on six of the most common resolutions and grade them on a scale of 1-5 (with 1 being “very attainable” and 5 being “very

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With the holidays coming to a close, it’s time to get serious and set some New Year’s resolutions for 2018. Unfortunately, keeping those resolutions is often easier said than done.

In the spirit of setting achievable goals, we asked therapists to weigh in on six of the most common resolutions and grade them on a scale of 1-5 (with 1 being “very attainable” and 5 being “very difficult”). See what they had to say below.

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“Losing weight requires a fairly good understanding of nutrition and calorie intake. It also requires, rather uncomfortably, changing your diet and exercise ― two of your three most basic behavioral patterns (the other being sleep) ― and then maintaining those changes indefinitely. Before I was a psychologist, I worked as a personal trainer: You have to have structured goals and set attainable goal posts. Without structured goals, it’s my experience that people do well for two or three months, lose some weight, but then revert back to their previous lifestyle and gain the weight back throughout the year. Grade: 3/5.”—Ryan Kelly, a psychologist in Charlotte, North Carolina

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Here, we examine the most common New Year ' s resolutions , why people fail and how you can maximise your chances of not giving up by February. In a bid to counter this trend, 52 per cent said that setting small, more achievable goals will help them stick to their New Year ’ s resolution .

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“This is very achievable if you start small. Most people want to go from not taking any action to immediate results, which is unrealistic. Good habits are best built upon one another in small, easily achievable steps. If you want to get more organized, choose one tiny organizational skill you can do for five minutes a day until you’ve mastered it. For example, make it a goal to pick up your clothes from the floor each night before bed. It can be as simple as that. Grade: 1/5.”―Amanda Stemen, a therapist in Los Angeles, California

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“Setting boundaries with others means understanding how to change patterns of people-pleasing. People often learn to say ‘yes’ when they’d rather not do something because in our culture, we’re rewarded for taking direction well in family and in work. Luckily, the pendulum is swinging where people are learning to practice taking care of their own needs. I recommend trusting your intuition when something feels right to you, and learning to stay grounded in your experience while still responding to the needs of others. If you’re bogged down at work before a vacation, say: ‘I hear that you need this work done by the deadline, but I also have time off scheduled and I’ll only get the most urgent things ready for the client before then. When I’m back, I’ll finish it.’ Grade: 3/5.”―Kari Carroll, a marriage and family therapist in Portland, Oregon

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These are the most common promises, and how long they are expected to last. Generally, New Year ' s resolutions are health based with people vowing to take more care of their bodies in the coming year .

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“Traveling is super easy to experience, and you don’t need a fancy trip to Indonesia like your friends on Instagram to escape the pressures of life and enjoy nature. Get creative and pay attention when others you know take excursions around your area. You can easily take day trips on the cheap to check out nearby towns, hikes, lakes, a resort pool or an obscure museum. Sometimes getting in the car and driving until you find something cool can be an adventure in and of itself. Grade: 1/5.”―Carroll

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“Post-holidays, you may have had more than enough of some people in your life. But if we’re not intentional about getting together, it will only happen when forced upon us by holidays or others. This one is very doable with some planning and intentionality to follow through. Get started by picking one person a month to reach out to, then be the one who initiates and plans the get together. Grade: 2/5.”Kurt Smith, a therapist who specializes in counseling for men

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New Year ’ s resolutions are essentially promises you make to yourself about something that you really want to accomplish. On the flip side of that coin, in the effort to set achievable goals, many people set easy goals that do not challenge them and force them to grow.

The typical New Year ’ s resolution is centered around performance or appearance goals: “I want to lose weight.” Pingback: You Are Not Alone: Why the Right Community Makes Every Goal More Achievable , How the People Around You Lengthen Your Life, and Where to Find Your Community

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“As long as you’re not a perfectionist about this one, it’s achievable. I would phrase the goal as ‘time spent on a new hobby’ so it doesn’t feel like you haven’t made progress when you’ve practice tennis an hour a week and still miss the ball half the time months into it. I also think that trying new hobbies and skills is good because you may learn that you don’t actually enjoy the thing you thought you would. In that case, it’s better to switch and move onto something else. Grade: 3/5.”―Marie Land, a psychologist in Washington, D.C.

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If You Want A Better Relationship In 2018, Do This .
It’s easy to get off track with your New Year’s resolutions when you’re the only one holding yourself accountable. If you’re in a relationship, though, you have a leg up: When you set goals as a couple, you’re far more likely to keep each other focused on achieving them. What are the best types of resolutions to make with your partner? Below, marriage therapists and counselors share seven resolutions that could make your relationship happier and healthier in 2018. 1. We’ll commit to small, measurable changes in our behavior “Ask your partner if they’d be willing to test something out with you. Say that you’d like your partner to name something in everyday life they’d like you to change. And you’ll do the same. Start small. This isn’t about asking him to get fit or deal with an addiction. It might be something as simple as, ‘I’d like you to text me at least once during the workday.’ Keep it simple and specific. Don’t say, ‘I’d like to hear from you more during the workday,’ because that’s too vague, leaving it open for interpretation and misunderstanding. In all my years as a marriage coach, I can attest that it’s the small things that have the biggest impact. When you see the impact a small change can have, you’ll both feel empowered about tackling bigger ones together.” ―Abby Rodman, a psychotherapist and the author of Without This Ring: A Woman’s Guide to Successfully Living Through and Beyond Midlife Divorce 2.

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